Part 1-February 5th Surgery

We reported to the 3rd floor of St. Vincent's Hospital at 5:00 a.m. sharp to sign in for my scheduled surgery. They took me immediately to the 4th floor to get me prepped for surgery. This time I honestly don't remember ever leaving the room where they get your IV started and all that stuff. (I had to get the IV in my left foot since my surgeon was going to be working on my left arm, and I can't have sticks in my right arm due to nodes being removed after my lumpectomy in 2000.) I remember the anesthesiologist saying he was going to give me something to help me relax. That's the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery saying my throat was hurting. They hadn't removed the breathing tube yet and said that was probably why and removed it. I remember having to cough a lot, which I've never done after surgery. I later learned my surgery took 4 hours. I've never had tubes down my nose and throat for that length of time while doing all kinds of surgeries on me. I knew the doctors would be removing the cancer from the inside of my cheek and then sew a flap of skin from the inside of my forearm to the area so it could heal. Veins and arteries would be attached microscopically and the blood flow to the area would have to come from the left side of my neck. I have had too many surgeries and radiation on the right side to get a good blood flow for the flap. I asked the nurse in recovery by note how long my incision was on my neck. She said it was from under my ear to across the center of my neck. The nurses were talking about how good the incision had been closed up. I later noticed the splint I knew would be on my left arm looked more like a cast with the thick ace bandage wrapped from my fingertips to above my elbow. I was in recovery for about 6 hours waiting for a room in ICU where I was scheduled to spend the night. All this time I'm wondering how I'm going to get up and use the bathroom when I have to go. I later learned I had a catheter. That was really a relief to me to know I didn't have to try to get up and go. The nurses in ICU would frequently look in my mouth with a flashlight to make sure the flap was pink, getting blood flow. They even checked it with a mini Doppler machine where they could pick up the pulse of the blood flow around my mouth and cheek. The doctor had the temperature of the room stay between 75 and 80 degrees to help encourage blood flow so the vessels wouldn't get cooled down and constrict. I ended up staying in ICU two nights with male nurses which was quite interesting to say the least. A (female) nurse removed the catheter the next day in ICU and that was fine. One of my doctors so nicely arranged to have me moved to the new wing when I left ICU on Saturday afternoon. (He had already sent John to his office across the street to get 2 shots for a sinus infection that had really taken hold of him.) It was nice to finally be in a 'regular' room...a regular room with a mirror in the bathroom. I had NO idea till I saw myself in the mirror just how swollen my face and mouth were from the surgery. It was quite a shock. The assisting surgeon had said in ICU that I would probably go home on Tuesday or Wednesday. However, my regular doctor came in to see us on Sunday morning and said I could go home on Monday unless I wanted to go home Sunday. I was so ready to go home. The nights were so long in the hospital. So we were able to go home Sunday which was a huge blessing. The flap was proving to be a successful transplant, and I was doing well.

Delayed update

I'll give a full account of my surgery and recovery as soon as I'm able to use both hands to type. I'm still only right handed for typing right now. Hopefully, just a few more days and I'll have full typing access of my left hand, too.

This is My doing

Just had to share one more excerpt with you from Streams in the Desert.

February 1:
This is my doing. 1 Kings 12:24
My child, I have a message for you today. Let me whisper it in your ear so any storm clouds that may arise will shine with glory, and the rough places you may have to walk will be made smooth. It is only four words, but let them sink into your inner being, and use them as a pillow to rest your weary head. "This is my doing." Have you realized that whatever concerns you concerns Me, too? "For whosoever touches you touches the apple of [my] eye" Zech 2:8. "You are precious and honored in my sight" Isaiah 43:4. Therefore it is My special delight to teach you. Are you in difficult circumstances..."This is my doing." I am the God of circumstances. You did not come to this place by accident--you are exactly where I meant for you to be. Laura A. Barter Snow

Is this but a perfect expression of His Sovereignty!!

Seriously, I need to get busy about getting ready to leave in the morning. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. I will update when we get back.

She will not be moved

Well, I need to be getting myself ready to leave for Birmingham in the morning, but I wanted to leave a word first. I (we) have just been overwhelming by the great outpouring of love and care to John and me since Sunday. Though I am nervous and dreading the next few days, I already have that unmistakable peace that only God can give. I wanted to share my devotional from the other day from Streams in the Desert.

January 29:
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. Psalm 46:5 NASB
"Will not be moved"--what an inspiring declaration! Is it possible for us who are so easily moved by earthly things to come to a point where nothing can upset us or disturb our peace? The answer is yes, and the apostle Paul knew it. When he was on his way to Jerusalem, the Holy Spirit warned him that "prison and hardships" (Acts 20:23) awaited him. Yet he could triumphantly say, "But none of these things move me" (Acts 20:24 KJV). Everything in Paul's life and experience that could be disturbed had already been shaken, and he no longer considered his life or any of his possessions as having any earthly value. And if we will only let God have His way with us, we can come to the same point. Then, like Paul, neither the stress and strain of little things nor the great and heavy trials of life will have enough power to move us from "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding" (Phil. 4:7). God declares peace to be the inheritance of those who have learned to rest only on Him. Hannah Whitall Smith

Do not fear

My verse and prayer today from Marybeth Whalen :

You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear". Lamentations 3:57 (NIV)
Dear Lord, Help me to trust in You even as my fears are realized. Help me to hear Your voice telling me that You are with me, and that I don't need to be afraid. Help me to feel your nearness. Most of all, Lord, help me to see Your purpose for me even as I am walking through trials. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Saved from deep waters

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters." Psalm 18:16

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..." Isaiah 43:1b-3a

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:21

I wondered how I would begin another post...another post about cancer and surgery once again. A friend sent a card today with the verses from Isaiah. The other verses were in a devotional email I got before Christmas. There's never a shortage of the word of God for any given situation.

I went to Birmingham last Tuesday for a regular checkup. My dr. decided to do a biopsy of a suspicious area on the inside of my cheek. He called Sunday afternoon to tell us it is cancer. My surgery will be on Thursday, February 5th. This oral surgery will be more involved than previous oral surgeries. He will have to do a skin flap to cover the area that he removes. I have had radiation to that area and the circulation won't be as good. A flap is skin with blood vessels and such that can aid in blood circulation and help it heal. A skin graft wouldn't be able to do that. He will remove the flap from the inside of my left forearm. It won't be an overnight stay this time. I will be in ICU for the first night to make sure a clot doesn't form in the flap and prevent circulation. Then I will stay 2-3 more days. Oral surgery is always harder for me to bounce back, and this one sounds even tougher. I've always been able to quickly be back in the swing of things after my neck surgeries. There's more pain to control with oral surgery so I've got a measure of dread.

As I got in my car to go to work the morning after having the biopsy, the end of Praise You In This Storm was on my radio. I had been listening to CDs lately and hadn't listened to the radio so much. That was so like God though...reminding me He was with me. I don't know why I'm still a fan of contemporary Christian music at my age (ha, ha), but the end instrumental of that song to me is just pure surrender and worship. Then today I had my regular scheduled appointment with my chiropractor who is a member of my church. After my adjustment, he laid his hands on me and prayed. He always has Christian music playing through the intercom. Voice of Truth was playing in the background as he prayed. Is God not awesome or what? What else can I say, "Here we go again"? I think I've said that before, but, yes, here we go again. With the dread also comes an anticipation of how God will choose to manifest Himself to me. Did I happen to say that God is awesome?

Happy New Year

Sorry to be so long in posting. I recovered nicely from the radiation burn, though it was quite red for a while. It was fabulous not to have to worry about an Erbitux treatment during December and the side effects. I had a very busy holiday season and enjoyed being with my family very much during that time. Alas, if not for a sinus infection and stomach virus, it would have been an uneventful December.

The verse I received in a New Year's day devotional email was quite profound to me:
"Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord." Lamentations 2:19a (NKJV)
That is exactly what God desires us to do, give it all to Him.

I received a new devotional for the year, "Streams in the Desert". January 4th so spoke to my journey:
You will never learn faith in comfortable surroundings. God gives us His promises in a quiet hour, seals our covenants with great and gracious words, and then steps back, waiting to see how much we believe. He then allows the Tempter to come, and the ensuing test seems to contradict all that He has spoken. This is when faith wins its crown. This is the time to look up through the storm, and among the trembling, frightened sailors (in Acts) declare, " I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me." Acts 27:25

Sharing with a friend that has just learned she is dealing with breast cancer, we concurred that we are on a journey...with God...through this life...and we want to be found faithful to the trust He places in us to take the journey...with Him.

Future Hope

My skin is reacting to the radiation, as before, since I've finished. Can be quite touchy. I had my Eribtux Thursday and the dr. said it would exacerbate the reaction so I don't know if that's why it's worse. I really believe it would probably be like this anyway as it was summer of last year. Hopefully, it will heal soon, though. I do get the month of December off from the Erbitux. I'm very glad for that. I would like to fully enjoy the Christmas season this year!!

I wanted to share my Beth Moore Devotional from yesterday. I love to hear God's still small voice:
November 21: God does not love us less when He gives us fewer evidences. He simply desires to grow us up and teach us to walk by faith.
Lord, according to Your Word, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life (Prov. 13:12). Lord, You are keenly aware of any hopes that have been deferred in my life. Help me to put my hopes in You, for You will fulfill my longings.
Wonderful Savior, You tell me that there is surely a future hope for me, and my hope will not be cut off (Prov. 23:18). When I hope in You, Lord, I will renew my strength. I will soar on wings like eagles; I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not be faint (Isa. 40:31).
Lord, help me hear this word as one from You to me: "So there is hope for your future," declares the Lord (Jer. 29:17).

This takes me back to Everlasting God. Here's the story behind the song written by Brenton Brown:
“The song ‘Everlasting God’ was ‘born’ about eight years ago (2000). The worship teams from our church left Oxford for a retreat in the heart of Wales late on a Friday evening. I thought it would be a quick journey but close to four hours later, way past midnight, we arrived at our lodgings. It was dark and cold and most of us just wanted to head for bed after a long week and the endless journey. Before we did though, we all sat down for a little prayer. We’d brought along percussion and hand drums and as we started to pray we gradually began to pick up the various instruments and play. I grabbed a guitar and not long later the words and melody of the verse came out – ‘strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord’. It took four years to finish the song but basically things continued as they’d started. A few years later Ken Riley, a friend from Newcastle, came to visit Jude and I and added a great bridge to the song. At that stage both Jude and I had been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and the scriptures in the verse and bridge took on a significance I never dreamed I’d have to understand. The chorus of the song reveals the ‘punch line’ of Isaiah 40 – God is everlasting, unfailing, unflagging. There is no limit to his strength and energy. More than that, this powerful, always-strong God has compassion and mercy on those who call on Him. He lifts us up when we are weak...an enormously comforting and sometimes challenging truth that we have been able to hold on to.”

Finished!

I had my last radiation treatment yesterday...33 in all. I was glad my skin held up to get through all 33 without having to stop for a while. Now, hopefully, it will recover without having the reaction afterwards like I did the last time. It was nice that the last 3 weeks there was nobody waiting in the waiting room for their treatments. There were 4-5 every week when I first started. I'm glad the techs were just sitting around reading books and playing solitaire on the computer. I saw one of the techs, the one that has always fitted my mask, visiting church with his family Sunday. He told me yesterday that they have visited the last couple of Sundays. I knew he was a Christian because the first time he fitted me with the mask 3 years ago he made a point of finding out where I went to church and told me where he went. My other tech that did the treatments everyday gave me a certificate yesterday with a cross in the background. She specifically did that background for me. I thought that was very sweet of her. I'll have another Erbitux next week. I don't go back to B'ham till January. My radiation dr. said he wants a PET scan in about 3 months. I'll have a nice break for a while. Hopefully, an uneventful Christmas season with my family this year...the first in 4 years. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers that have most definitely gotten me through the last 7 weeks.

Halfway

Well, I'm halfway through my radiation treatments. I'll have another Erbitux on Thursday. The last one I had gave me a pretty rough weekend.
I did get a nice long weekend, though. My daughter-in-law invited me to go with her and the girls to Magic Kingdom and SeaWorld. My radiation dr. allowed me to have Thursday and Friday off. It was great...though my ankles rebelled at all the walking I was subjecting them to in such a short amount of time. Here are some pics:

Waiting for the first Cinderella Castle show

Cinderella Castle by day

Cinderella Castle by night

Scenes from the Shamu shows

Overcome by the bubble machine