Lifesong: Who Am I

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Who Am I

My dear daughter shared an email with me today from a women who has battled brain cancer for two years. Here is a quote from her email that speaks volumes to me:
"Who am I to question God, the maker of heaven and earth? He who fills the clouds with rain and snow? He who tells the oceans where to stop? He who created our world and every plant and creature on it? He who has carried me (not just walked with me, but CARRIED me), through all my previous challenges only to be covered with blessing on the other side. All I can say is Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life: I will sing praise to my God as long as I live! "

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My history of cancer

*SCC recurrence of tumor on right base of tongue 12/11 and probable tumor on voice box. Declined very intrusive surgery and treatments. Choosing pain management through hospice.
*SCC tumor successfully removed robotically in Birmingham from right base of tongue 5/11, quick tests done during surgery showed clean margins. Dissection of tumor after surgery showed cancers cells along bottom of tumor. Surgeon robotically removed another layer of entire area on 7/1/11, pathology report showed biopsies had clean margins with no signs of cancer remaining.
*SCC spread to far back of tongue on right side, surgery to remove what was thought to be scar tissue 3/11, pathology report confirmed SCC, further consults and tests at MD Anderson Houston to determine a plan. PET & CT scans confirm tumor on base of tongue. Doctors at MDA agree chemotherapy not effective at this point, radiation no longer an option, advised to see surgeon in B'ham for robotic surgery.
*SCC spread to neck muscle through blood stream, removed tumor 4/10, involved removing some of the muscle, 11 lymph nodes removed-all clear, will continue monthly Erbitux treatments, repeat MRI 6/10 to check BB size spot on the right side
*SCC spread to inside of right cheek, 2/09 surgery removed area with wide clean margins, replace with skin flap, veins and arteries taken from inside left forearm, attached to blood flow with veins & arteries to left side of neck with 2 negative nodes removed, monthly Erbitux treatments continued
*SCC spread to neck muscle under tip of left clavicle, 8/08 surgery, radiation and continued monthly Erbitux
*SCC spread to neck and gum area, 12/07 surgery to remove 2 lumps in neck, one classified as a dead cancer, gum area-superficial, clean margins, 8 wks Erbitux, then long range monthly Erbitux treatments
*SCC spread through blood stream to knot in neck muscle, 5/07 surgery to remove knot involved removing muscle as well, no lymph nodes tested positive, 6 wks radiation & 8 wks Erbitux
*SCC spread to gum area, 12/06 surgery removing gum area & 2 more bottom molars, superficial and clean margins, no treatments
*SCC spread to lump in neck, 7/05 surgery, one lymph node tested positive, 6 wks radiation treatments to mouth and neck
*SCC spread to gum area, 1/05 surgery removing gum & 2 bottom molars, clean margins, no treatments
*Tongue cancer-Squamous Cell Carcinoma, 4/04 surgery, clean margins, no lymph nodes tested positive, no treatments
*Breast cancer, 11/2000 lumpectomy, clean margins, no lymph nodes tested positive, 6 wks radiation treatments