Monday, July 9, 2007

Hold back the tears

Today I went for an already scheduled orthodontist appointment. My orthodontist decided I needed to have new retainers made. Therefore, I had to have new impressions made to have the retainers made like he prescribed. Since I've had 3 surgeries in my mouth, my range of motion is limited in my jaw. So the technician uses smaller trays for making the impressions. However, not even that made it easier today. The Erbitux is making my mouth really sore with ulcers and extra sensitive on the right side where I've had the surgeries. Oh my goodness! It was not fun to have her pull on my mouth to get those trays in place! She could tell it was very painful for me and apologized. She assumed it was because of the limits of my mouth to open. I told her that it was actually because my mouth was so sensitive in reaction to the treatments I've been getting for the return of the cancer in my neck. She acknowledged that I had been battling this cancer for a while (as I was in braces when I had the very first surgery on my tongue). She then asked me if it was okay for her to add me to the prayer list at her church. Of course, I told her that would be very nice. She then told me how she believed in prayer and that we just don't understand why some things are allowed to happen. It was all I could do not to burst into tears. It was just so like God. He just has this thing about timing, you know! He is just so good to me. Who am I, that He would use an orthodontics technician to, again, let me know that He is very aware of the battle that I am assure me, once again, that there is power in prayer. I need that to hold onto so much. Like I've shared before, there are other voices that try to come in and displace The Voice of Truth. Thank God, He loves me enough to intervene on my behalf and say, "I'm here. I know your struggle. You are not alone."

"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11