Visit with doctor today

We saw my oncologist today. He consulted with another oncologist in Birmingham about his proposed treatment plan with Erbitux. She concurred with his treatment plan. Though, I don't think she would have swayed his conviction, it was confirmation that this is right for her to agree with him. So I will begin treatments in 2 weeks. I will have 8 consecutive weeks, once a week, just like in the summer. Then the plan is for me to continue with the Erbitux once a month for an extended period. At least I've got this option and there is not a need to go with conventional chemo treatments. I've been blessed with very nice doctors who truly want to see me healed.

I start in 2 weeks so that I can spend next week with my Monkey Boys. The Monkey Boys mom and dad and sister, Monkey Girl, will be going to Hawaii for the week. What fun to get to spend the week with my grandsons while their parents and sister get to enjoy a special time in a special place.

I do have a praise. I returned to Birmingham last week to have a place biopsied on my tongue that looked suspicious to me. Thankfully, my doctor called Saturday to tell me it was only inflamed tissue. He said he had two pathologists check it giving them my history with this cancer. He said he was happy. I told him I was, too :)
It may have never been anything, but who am I to deny that God might have completely healed it before it was removed!

I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8 NIV)

We must offer ourselves to God like a clean, smooth canvas and not worry ourselves about what God may choose to paint on it, but at each moment, feel only the stroke of His brush.-- Jean Pierre de Caussade

"Fight for me, God!"

Read from my Beth Moore devotional last night. Her last words of prayer most definitely speak my sentiments exactly:
"Lord Your power has not diminished since the days when You revealed Your power and glory as You fought for Israel. I am Your child, too. Fight for me, God! Overpower the one who seeks to overpower me!" (based on Exodus 15:9-10)

Steadfast Belief

From Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day,
January 21:
WE TEND TO RUN TO GOD FOR TEMPORARY RELIEF. GOD IS LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO WILL WALK WITH HIM IN STEADFAST BELIEF.
At this moment, Father, I am choosing the way of truth. I want to set my heart on Your laws (Ps. 119:30). I want to choose the way of truth the rest of my days.
Test me, O Lord, and try me. Examine my heart and my mind, for Your love is ever before me, and I desire to walk continually in Your truth (Ps. 26:2-3). Redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth (Ps. 31:5). Help me remember that nothing and no one can be redeemed without truth: the God of truth!
Show me Your ways, O Lord. Teach me Your paths. Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long
(Ps. 25:4-5).

Oh to be one that He finds walking with Him in steadfast belief! "...You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long".
(I said I was going to enjoy my devotional books!)
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We saw my medical oncologist today. We had a good, lengthy talk with him about options, and we agreed with him on everything. All of my doctors have stated that there is not an effective chemo for squamous cell carcinoma. My dr. doesn't believe it is necessary for me to have chemo since there is no evidence of this cancer having metastasized to any other organs. Also, by all indications my surgeon got it all. There have been no studies with Erbitux as a long term treatment to show that it would effectively do anything long term. Honestly, I have had radiation to my mouth once, and the cancer returned; to my neck twice, and the cancer returned, 8 Erbitux treatments and the cancer returned. There are no guarantees. My dr. offered us the option of seeking other opinions elsewhere. He is the president of Alabama's cancer information board (can't remember the actual name of it). He is responsible for keeping up on all new cancer treatment information so he can relay that information to all the oncologists in Alabama. I wouldn't think there would be anyone else to know much more than he does; though, he is contacting a dr. in Birmingham that will be speaking at their conference in April on head and neck cancer. He will be seeing us again February 14th to report to us what she says. It is his suggestion at this time to go 8 more weekly rounds of Erbitux treatments and then go to once a month treatments with it. There is no precedence for this. As a friend told me tonight, I could be the one to help find a cure for this cancer!
Continue to pray for us to know God's direction.

I will bless the Lord at all times...Let us exalt His name together

I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will make its boast in the LORD; The humble will hear it and rejoice. O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together. I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears. O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
Psalm 34:1-4, 8 New American Standard Bible

I saw my surgeon last Tuesday to have my stitches removed. He had already planned to take a little more gum tissue to make sure he removed all of the cancer that was there. I, also, asked him to check a place on the inside of my cheek just to make sure. He called Sunday afternoon to tell me the results. The place on my cheek was fine. Cancer did show up in the gum tissue he removed, but he was able to remove all of the cancer giving me clear margins. So no further surgery to my mouth is necessary. That was all great news. He (and I) will just keep a close watch on the area.

My surgeon, also, gave us the pathology report last week to take to my medical oncologist. I have an appointment to see him next Tuesday to see what my options might be for further treatment. Radiation is not an option. I have already had radiation twice on my neck and to my mouth once. It's usually not repeated after the first time, anyway. So we'll see what the oncologist has to say.

I decided to switch from the CD I had been listening to in the car for the past week. I was just thinking it's just so neat to hear God speak randomly to me through music on the radio when I'm in the car. When I started the car to go back to work after lunch (after just talking to my onc's office and finding out my appt. time), "Voice of Truth" was in process of playing on the radio. I think God is really wanting to impress upon me to not let "voices" from here or there drown out HIS voice to me. Don't ever give up. Keep holding on.

A Fresh Beginning

That was the title of the devotional for January 1. It's from a new daily devotional book given to me by my husband for my birthday. It's co-authored by Henry Blackaby. He, also, gave me another daily devotional at Christmas authored by Beth Moore. I know I will enjoy both of them immensely!
The verse for January 1 particularly caught my eye. It is similar to one in an email I got on Monday. After seeing it in yesterday's devotional, I thought I should sit up and take notice. That was probably at least the 4th time, maybe more, these verses have come to my attention in some way or other in the past couple of weeks. God is definitely trying to say something to me through it. After this many repeats in the past few days, it's not meant to be coincidental!

From December 31:
"I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you." Isaiah 42:8-9

From January 1:
"Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth...I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19
The last sentence of the devotional: "Embrace the fresh beginning God wants to give you."

Pathology Report

My doctor called today to let us know the results of the pathology report. Two places in my neck did show up as cancer. Also, the biopsy of my gum was ruled as cancer, though just superficial. Nothing surprising to me. Of course, not what I wanted to hear, but not surprising. I will now need to see my medical oncologist to see about a maintenance treatment program, possibly monthly Erbitux. When I go to get my stitches removed next week, the doctor will remove a little more of the gum tissue, just to make sure he got it all.

What else can I say for now??...but another word of testimony to God's timing and faithfulness.
My first devotional email I read today was:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 NIV

Not so surprising since He has been using this particular verse in my life for over 24 years. But then I proceed to the next devotional email, one that doesn't come daily:
“But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:26-27

And both of those before we got the call from my doctor!

Yes, He will remind me of everything He has said to me!!

Off to Birmingham

Merry Christmas!

We celebrated Christmas with family on Sunday by enjoying Christmas dinner and opening presents. I'm glad we decided to have Christmas on Sunday rather than today. We were able to have a long leisurely, fun-filled day and not have to be so rushed since we have to leave for Birmingham today. With all of that in mind, none of it would even be thinkable without, first and foremost, the Christmas-time celebration of the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Thanks to my children and their spouses, I have a cool way to help pass the time on the trip today. They all pitched in and gave me an iPod Nano! The inscription on the back reads, "Let My Lifesong Sing To You"! Is that not the coolest?? Again, a God thing! The iPod was already on its way with inscription and all before I had to tell them that I was going to be having surgery again.

Well, I've got to get busy so we can leave shortly. By the way, here's the verse in my email for today:
"My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."Psalm 121:2-4, New International Version

Not So Odd After All

Well, 2 for 2, PET scans don't work on the particular area of interest on my body. Yes, they can show whether there is metastasis to other organs. That is helpful, definitely.

I noticed a little bump...knot...lump on my neck a few days ago, wondering if it was something I should get checked out. Sunday night I wore a mock turtleneck sweater to church. It bothered my neck so much, I decided it was time to get it checked. I called my radiation onc's nurse Monday morning, and she told me to come in that afternoon. After examining me, my dr. said he felt it, too. He was going to go get a CT scan set up. He came back in to tell me it would be the next afternoon. He was going to have them do in at 2mm sections rather than 5mm sections like in a PET scan and most CT's. He told me to come back to his office when finished getting the CT scan. He would then walk over to see what it showed. So that's what I did. He came back from radiology to tell me it did look suspiciously like a lymph gland was involved. He had already called my dr.'s office in Birmingham as he wanted me to see him this week. He was in surgery and would call me as soon as possible. His schedule nurse called me Wednesday morning to tell me that he wanted her to go ahead and schedule surgery since he definitely would be removing whatever is there. So I will have surgery December 26th. We will go up to B'ham late Christmas afternoon.

As I was going back to work on Monday after first seeing my radiation onc, I had the radio on listening to Christmas music. Right in the middle of this Christmas music, the Casting Crowns song, Voice of Truth, comes on. I'm at first thinking how odd that they are playing this song in the middle of Christmas music! Then it dawned on me! This is not odd at all! God is talking to me! If you've read my blog from the beginning, you know that God has used this song many times in the last few years during diagnosis'. I just thought, "How awesome of God to reassure me of His presence...that this did not take Him by surprise...He is still in control". Then on Tuesday after leaving the onc's office late afternoon, I had a little more Christmas shopping to get done. So my mind stayed busy with that for a couple of hours. Once I was on my way back home, again, radio Christmas music playing in the background, my mind starts wandering on what I've just found out. Then, again, there's that song, Voice of Truth. What peace and comfort there is to know you are in the presence of the Almighty God who hung the moon and stars!

I was hoping to be able to wait till after Christmas to tell this news, but God had other ideas. My B'ham dr. had them schedule my surgery on a day he was supposed to be off. I have such great doctors. That means a whole lot...soooo much. My family will be having Christmas together on Sunday rather than Tuesday since we have to leave Tuesday afternoon to get to B'ham. That way we won't be rushed and can enjoy being with family and enjoying Christmas.

I guess we'll be waiting till after surgery to find out what this is going to be. For now, I'd appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers on my behalf...and my family's behalf. Only God knows just how far prayer takes us in times like these!

In a book I was reading while waiting for my CT scan and the results:
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7
"He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:3
And on Thursday from an email devotional:
"Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them-- the LORD, who remains faithful forever." Psalm 146:5-6 NIV

Good News

I had a routine PET scan last week ordered by my doctor. He called me this morning to tell me that it looked like a good report. He said there was a little activity on the right side but the numbers were below what he would be concerned over. He said it was probably due to the surgery in that area and radiation twice to that area. There was no sign of spreading to other parts of my body. He said he would keep a watch on me and order another scan in 6-8 months. So that was good news. He had a full day of surgery today but took the time between surgeries to call and let me know the results he had received. That means a lot. He's always called me to tell me the results from tests and such. I really appreciate that about him. He called me on my cellphone at work since I wasn't home. My battery died right about the end of the conversation. (blushing-I mean how embarrassing is that to have your cellphone die while talking to your surgeon!) He was even nice enough to call back to my cellphone and leave a voice message of what he was saying when the battery died.

He takes me back to bring me back

I know I haven't posted as much lately...been wondering what God might want me to do with my blog now. It kinda bothered me that I didn't have a 'fresh' word to share with anyone who might read it. However, I think God impressed on me today that the blog wasn't started just to keep others informed of what was going on with me for a few months. It is, also, here for me...to come back to and refresh myself with the wonderful words God has spoken to me. Words of love, faithfulness, commitment, understanding. If it means taking me back to bring me back, I'm all for it. It is my desire to share God's words with others, though, whenever He leads, and I mean to do so.